Pink Triathlete

November 2021- April 2022

I heard about this challenge from Vida last year. I remember going to the New Years swim on January 2020, full wetsuit, booties, gloves and a homemade neoprene hat. Almost every inch covered to protect me from 7° lake water. I probably swam for 10minutes got out and watched in abject horror the tragic specimens dredging themselves from the jetty, red like lobsters in bikinis, eyes wide like their lids were frozen… Amongst other things!

They then proceeded to shiver so uncontrollably they poured their cups of coffee over themselves, marvelling at the lack of limb control they had. And I laughed. I though ‘fuck that’. What absolute nut job would willingly do that?

And so, here I am, having just undergone 5 months of winter swimming in lakes, lido and sea…in skins. Not a bootie or glove in sight. I still can’t even tell you what possessed me. Some kind of evil dolphin spirit, probably.

The Polar Bear Challenge consists of several levels- polar bears wear only skins: a swimsuit, gloves, earplugs and normal cap are allowed and nothing else. Penguins are allowed to add gloves, hats, boots or a whole wetsuit as well. The levels range from the Classic, which entails a quick dunk in and out; to the apprentice Jedi and Jedi levels (for polar bears) and apprentice ninja and ninja level (for penguins). The apprentice and full Jedi/ ninja levels have strict guidelines requiring set distance swims in certain temperatures with photo evidence as well as a monthly total of 3000m swam.

The set swims I had to complete were as follows:

9° 1500m

9° 2000m

8° 1250m

8° 1750m

7° 1000m

7° 1500m

6° 740m

6° 1250m

5° 450m

5° 1000m

Stupidly, It didn’t at the time concern me. I though that having acclimatised to a 2hr in 11° swim during a storm as a qualifier for my Channel relay in may (having started at 100m swim at 7° in April (actually a year yesterday!)) would mean that I had loooooots of time to get over the cold. Oh how wrong I was.

The challenge started off okay, I went for the monthly goal distance rather than the set swims at first, to settle in. It was 9° so cold, but Halloween had been 12° and totally enjoyable. And then in the space of a week the temperature plummeted and the lakes went from 9° to 5° and below, overnight.

Now, because I’m somewhat a hopeful person I really didn’t think this would be that much of an issue for the set swims. At first I though- ‘oh great the lakes actually going to get cold enough to do my coldest swims!’ Shut up Jessie.

1500m swims went to 200m of survival. I was beginning to lose hope and then I decided to try the Guildford lido, which was a decent 8° during the evenings (heated at the weekend and not allowed for the challenge). It takes me a good 8minutes to get fully submerged and then 50meters of a strange doggy paddle to finally start front crawl with my face in the water. I can’t do breaststroke so my head always gets very cold, and my body temperature reduces quickly. But this gives me the advantage of speed. Well, ish! As quick as one can go in cold water!

I swam 2000m in the lido which took me to 1 hour in the water. The minute I got out I felt a bit woozy. I was cold but following a line on the bottom of the pool was what I put it down to. I went straight to the hot shower. THIS WAS A TERRIBLE TERRIBLE

MISTAKE. Learn for this- DONT TAKE A HOT SHOWER AFTER A COLD SWIM!!! I couldn’t tell what temperature the shower was because I was too cold- the blood from my constricted capillaries rushed back into my extremities and I felt like I was going to pass out.

Fortunately, I walked around the changing room for a while and sat with my head between my knees before I felt better and started to shiver again. Shivering is very much your friend. In fact, being around people and checking if they are shivering is your friend too! If you’re shivering you’re going to be okay. If you aren’t then you need to get changed as soon as possible. I sat on the car for an hour till I felt normal again. But I’d done it! The longest and first of my set swims! I felt confident- surely I was ready for 1000m at 5° now- because it’s essentially half of what I did at the lido? Omg will my stupidity ever end.

I determinedly set out for 1000m at the lake- it hurt. The temp was below 5° and my feet felt like solid hooves dragging through the water. I developed brain freeze from the back of my neck which was a new sensation I hadn’t realised was possible. I finished the swim, climbed up the jetty steps and stopped. My whole body rushed hot. I had to get my goggles off and I abandoned everything on the kit stow area. I stumbled to my car like a drunk absolutely certain that I just had to get my clothes off as soon as possible because I felt very disorientated indeed. Fortunately, my Tri club friend, Mike, spotted me from the next car and came to check on me. I’d managed to get my wet kit off and my onsie on before he helped me with a sock and gave me a much needed hug.

I felt a bit scared.

If I’m honest.

I knew I’d gone too long and I didn’t know if I was yet to pay for it. Mike turned the heating in my car on and ushered me in. This is why my club and swim buddies are the best. They gathered outside my car door- checking in on my, handing me cake, coffee, and also congratulations! Because unbeknownst to me I had just completed an Ice Mile Qualifying distance.* When I got home I couldn’t remember who got me the coffee; who went in my car to turn the dials; or where the hell I had left my goggles, gps, and swim hat.

As you can imagine that made the next month torturous because my confidence plummeted. Sure i had survived but the other swims were just as hard because despite being 1 degree warmer they were longer distances!

Week after week I made new friends and built my mind up to take on the further challenges. I ventured to frensham ponds to do some wild swimming. I never would have gone without Zerrin encouraging me. She was my rock on those days. And before we knew it the last swims were upon us.

And that’s when I made another mistake. I rather optimistically went for my long run before a swim and my body refused to warm up. I was chilled to the core. I got into the water and immediately started shivering which is really really bad. Sensibly, I got out.

Instead, The polar bear Jedi challenge was completed the next day at the Quays.

I’ve learned so much about myself doing this. Most people won’t attempt Jedi after 3 years of cold water swimming- I realise as of yesterday I’ve had one full year. I’m very lucky to have a body that lets me do these things and I am amazed how far me and the rest of my polar and Tri friends went to complete the various challenges.

I honestly think this was more of a challenge than Ironman training. It was so mentally taxing, frightening at times and unpredictable. Watching the weather became an obsession.

As with all these challenges that I do my favourite part has to be the people I’ve got to know along the way.

Especially Zerrin, my amazing swim buddy! Quang, doing the most insane distances. Mike and Neil looking out for me and their encouragement. As well as Carol, patience, Sarah, Karen, Stuart, Patrick and the rest of the lovely people from Quayswim.

Thank you xxx

*turns out there’s a niche list of people who have completed an Ice mile and an Ironman! I’m just saying isn’t that interesting…